


Who Am I?

by Charlie733



Category: Holby City
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 09:58:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie733/pseuds/Charlie733
Summary: What happened after Dom picked himself off the washroom floor.





	Who Am I?

He’s not sure how he did it but Dom picked himself off the floor of the cubicle, opened the door and went to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face trying to erase the tear streaks – it didn’t work, he could still see them. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and thought to himself “Who am I?”.

He thought he knew who he was and he was OK with that. He knew he was different from an early age and didn’t try to hide it like so many of his friends. When he was able to understand what it meant to be gay, he came out to his parents. That didn’t go quite as well as he thought. His dad, Barry, was angry or disappointed, he wasn’t sure which. His mom, Carole, had been more accepting – he had a feeling she knew all along. His father eventually accepted Dom’s sexuality and they were rebuilding their bond. After his relationship with Isaac, it took him time to get his identity back. Isaac had ground him down till he felt he was nothing, inadequate for anyone to like or love him. He was so thankful for his friends and family for showing him he was worthy of their love. Most of all, he was so thankful for his beautiful husband and best friend. Lofty never gave up on Dom even when he was cruel to him or pushed him away. He knew he could tell Lofty anything and he would make it better. God he wished he was here now. 

At the thought of Lofty, Dom leaned against the wall – because the weight of what had happened descended on him and his legs started to wobble. He took out his phone and went to press Lofty’s number. His thumb hovered above his number – Lofty’s beautiful smiling face looking at him. What would he say to him? Should he interrupt Lofty’s time with Sheila? What could he do from America? Dom let a sob escape – oh how he wished he could just fall into Lofty’s strong arms and cry it out.

Feeling a little stronger, he took one last look in the mirror, squared his shoulders and opened the door back to Albies. He made a straight line to the door and out into the night air. Although their home was within walking distance, he hailed a taxi – walking was still an effort and he thought he might just crumple into a heap on the sidewalk. After paying the driver and stepping out, he looked at the windows of their flat to find a light on in the living room window. Had he left the light on? He couldn’t remember and wasn’t too concerned.

Maybe some alone time was what he needed. Time to sort out his feelings – anger, confusion, hurt. He needed to figure out how to handle this. He made his way up to the flat, unlocked the door, dumped his backpack on the floor and then he saw him. Lofty standing in the hallway. He just started sobbing and Lofty quickly embraced him, rubbing his back, whispering to him that everything would be OK, that they would sort it out together, that he loved him so much. They stayed that way for a long time. Lofty let Dom cry it out. Once he noticed the sobs started to lessen in strength, he gently pulled back to look at Dom. He tipped his face up so he could look him in the eyes. He could see all Dom’s emotions there – in his beautiful blue eyes.

All he said was “Hi”. Dom finally realized that Lofty was actually back and standing in front of him. How did he know he needed him? He really didn’t care about the answer to that question – he was here and thank god for that. Dom pulled him close and kissed him pouring all the emotion and love he had for his husband.

Lofty knew Dom had to talk and he was willing to listen, soothe or whatever else Dom needed, but he could see Dom was exhausted, physically and emotionally, so he just lead him by the hand to their bedroom. He undressed Dom – boy had he missed that toned body – and tried not to linger too long on any part – that’s not what Dom needed. That could wait till he was in a better place. He couldn’t stop himself from running his hand down Dom’s face and placed it over his heart. To his relief, Dom placed his hand over his and place a soft kiss on his lips.

Once they were both down to their boxers, they climbed in bed and wrapped themselves in each other. They had been starved of their touch for far too long. Once Dom’s head hit the pillow, his eyes started to close. Lofty stared at him while he slept. He seemed a little more relaxed – he hoped he would get the rest he needed. 

Even though Lofty wanted to fix everything so he could have his wonderful husband back, he knew there was no quick fix for this. He had thought of nothing else on the long flight back from America after Carole had called him to let him know what was going on. To say that he was shocked was a massive understatement. He immediately understood what this would do to Dom. He was so close to Carole – he thought of her as his mom also. To have his whole life be a lie, he knew Dom would be devasted. Not that Carole and Barry didn’t love him because they did, sometimes a little too much but who could blame them. Dom was a treasure – he was kind to a fault, witty, smart, incredibly handsome but sometimes his insecurities got the better of him. Lofty had seen first-hand how he had rebuilt his confidence after Isaac. How he struggled every day to remind himself that he was worthy of the respect and love others gave him. Lofty finally fell asleep with Dom securely wrapped in his arms.

In what seemed like no time at all, Lofty woke to soft kisses to his neck and chest. An automatic smile came to his face. He opened his eyes to find Dom watching him. He had a small smile on his face – not quite reaching his eyes. He just seemed to be drinking in all that was Lofty.

“How are you even here?” he asked cupping Lofty’s face.

“I missed you so much.” Lofty stretched up to give him a peck on the lips.

“I missed you too so much.” He said still staring. His lower lip started to quiver and his eyes were starting to fill again. Lofty honestly didn’t think there could be any tears left after last night.

“Carole called me after she told you. She thought I should know what was going on because she thought you would need me. I am so sorry.” He didn’t know what HE was apologizing for – he wasn’t the one who had kept this massive secret from Dom all his life.

“Did you and Sheila have a good time? Is she upset you came back? Does she hate me for being such a drama queen?” He stopped to take a deep breath. He tried to focus on anything but the BIG problem.

“Yes, we did. No, she just as worried about you as I am. No, she loves that you’re a drama queen.” Lofty answered all Dom’s questions while rubbing his hand up and down Dom’s arm. “We’re just fine. Now tell me how you feel after a night’s rest.”

Dom did feel a little calmer now that he had Lofty to hold on to. He was still feeling angry. “I’m angry that they have kept this from me all my life. It’s not that they have been bad parents because they’ve been wonderful – till now. I always felt loved and important to them. But now it makes me question everything. Was it because they felt they had to love me or because they just did? I thought I knew that answer with a doubt. Now not so sure.”

“Dom. You have to know that they love you because you’re you! They loved you when you realized you were gay, they loved you through all the heartache of losing Arthur, through all the drama that was Isaac and the happiness when you told them that you wanted to marry me. They helped make you the person you are today and for that I am forever grateful.” 

“Yes, I guess you’re right in there somewhere. But I’m still angry at them for keeping it from me.”

“And you have every right to feel that way. Now what are you confused about?”

“I’m confused about who I am right now. Would I be different if I had known about Ange and being adopted? Would I have been a doctor – probably – look who my birth mother and my half-sister are? Oh my god, I have a sister! Does she know about me? I don’t think so because Ange didn’t know who I was till a couple of days ago. A sister??? What do I do about that?” He stopped a moment to gather his thoughts.

“I have a sister-in-law? Wow! Being married to you just keeps getting better and better. What is she like? I didn’t get to work with her before I left. I bet she’s just like you – smart, cocky, pretty.”

“Yes, she’s all those things. We seemed to get on well. I wonder if that will change once she finds out?”

“How can she not love you? She sounds like she’s just like you.” Lofty kissed Dom to let him know that he loved him so much. “What are you going to do now? I know you said you didn’t want to see either of them again. I’m hoping that you only said that because you were angry at them for keeping the secret from you. Now that you’ve had some time to think about it, I hope you’ll change your mind. Whatever you decide I will stand by you. I am angry too that they did this but I’m only concerned about you and what you need.”

God, thought Dom, what did I do to deserve this man? He snuggled closer, if that was possible, to Lofty. He always had that calming effect on Dom. He could get through to Dom when no one else could. Now that he was back, Dom could actually breathe again. He could take his time to decide what he wanted to do. He could talk it out with Lofty and they – yes they – could figure out what to do.

“What I need right now is to snuggle with my beautiful husband who I have missed so much. Then we will have breakfast and talk about what to do next.” Yes, that sounded like a great plan.


End file.
